🎉 STATUS UNLOCKED! 🎉
Final metrics processing...
📈 STATISTICAL SUMMARY BOARD
1. Tendies Claimed:0
2. Fries Consumed:0
3. Sauce Packets:0
4. Hours Sweated in Cage:0 hrs
5. Son's Birthdays Missed:0
6. Family Weddings Skipped:0
7. Summer Vacations Missed:0
8. Total Work Cost / GBP:0
9. Alarm Clocks Smashed:0
10. Freedom Rating:0
11. Recitals Missed:0
12. Anniversaries Forgotten:0
13. Holidays Worked:0
14. Graduations Skipped:0
15. Little League Games Missed:0
16. Promotions Passed Over:0
17. Sick Days Denied:0
18. HR Meetings Attended:0
19. Cold Lunches Eaten:0
20. Commute Hours Wasted:0
21. Unpaid Overtime Hours:0
22. Performance Reviews Survived:0